Jesus Christ!
This still exists!?
Meh.
www.amazon.com/author/ajdowney
Took me long enough but I did it.
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Update on the player...
So it's been a year since My Sirona ended and no I haven't gone on to play anything else. I am working on a project that is a horse of a completely different color though.
I am taking all my old poetry and giving it a home.
It can be found at http://nightmareswaltz.blogspot.com if any of you are still out there you should come have a look.
I am taking all my old poetry and giving it a home.
It can be found at http://nightmareswaltz.blogspot.com if any of you are still out there you should come have a look.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Something New!
So you've read te life of an Elysian Cleric, now for something new...
Head over to http://loreoflyrinia.blogspot.com/ to read a new story, the Lore of Lyrinia follows the tale of an Asmodian cleric, who unlike Sirona who desperately clung to her past, will do anything and just about everything to forget hers.
... and you guys thought I would stop writing ... lol shame on you.
Head over to http://loreoflyrinia.blogspot.com/ to read a new story, the Lore of Lyrinia follows the tale of an Asmodian cleric, who unlike Sirona who desperately clung to her past, will do anything and just about everything to forget hers.
... and you guys thought I would stop writing ... lol shame on you.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Fifty Two - The Final Chapter
It was dark, and it was cold and I hugged my knees to my chest and waited for something to happen. I don’t know how long I was in the cell before he came. The jailers slid open a small hatch to look in on me at standing eye height. The red of his eyes and glimmer of torchlight from the hall behind him was dazzling bright after so much solid darkness.
“You are ready to speak what we want to hear yes?” he asked. I slumped back into my corner.
“No. May I please have some food, or water?” I asked. He made a disgruntled noised and clapped the small portal closed. I rested my head on my knees and tried to forget my hunger and thirst. It would not kill me. The immortal don’t die from things like that.
Time dragged on, I think it was every week or so that they came always with the same question, always with the same denial on my part and always with the same result… Left to rot in the dark, alone, exhausted and growing weaker by the hour, by the day, by the week, by the month? I thought of Elethor and I prayed and eventually I grew to accept what I must do to continue to keep him, and the ones I loved in Elysea safe. I closed my eyes, or at least I think I did, the blackness being the same both ways and I tried to sleep.
“Wake up child.”
I opened my eyes and this time was greeted by a diffuse glow around the cowl of a stranger…
“Father?” I asked weakly.
“No, no… but he sent me.” The kind voice was soothing and almost musical in quality and his hand was soft where it held mine.
“Who are you?” I inquired.
“I am His Avatar child, I am Aion given physical form for however long He requires it. You may call me Tamat.” He took my hands and lifted me to my feet and I stood, suddenly not tired, not thirsty and more so not cold or hurting.
“Thank you.” I breathed, and he nodded his head smiling. “Why have you come?” I asked.
“Isn’t it obvious?” he asked, and I shook my head. “I’ve come to take you home.” I worried my lip between my teeth and considered him.
“To Elysea?” I asked, and my heart began to sink when his expression, what I could see of it grew solemn.
“No child, not to Elysea.”
“To my Elethor then?” I was strangely calm when the being shook his head once more. I tipped my head back and back and relaxed my shoulders, the tears slipping free.
“Is He angry with me?” I asked.
“No, no child, not angry He could never be angry with you. He placed too much on your shoulders He sees that now. He forgives you for being unable to do what it was He asked. If anything He is disappointed in Himself for what has transpired.”
“Will Elethor be all right?” I asked the first subtle sob shaking my shoulders.
“He will not, for a while… but time heals all wounds and I am sure he will love again.”
I looked down at my body, so dirty and rail thin crouched in the corner. Eyes glazed and staring at nothing, growing cloudy all ready and I hugged myself. Tamat put his arms around me and murmured, into my hair.
“It is time to go child. He wishes to see you. Please do not fret, your time to hurt is at an end and I promise you some day you will see your man again. Though it will be long for him it will be but a blink of the eye for you. Come now; let us leave this place behind.”
“Can I see him one last time?” I asked and Tamat simply shook his head. I sobbed and leaned heavily against Tamat and felt plate armor beneath his simple homespun robe and cowl. I could see now, the filthy stone walls covered with damp and ichor and I looked back at my body once more.
“I am ready,” I said finally. “Tamat, take me home.”
Jailor’s log – 06-03-110
The Elyos female captured at Asteria has expired, proving their inferiority and frailty compared to the greater Asmodian people. She gave us nothing. Her Asmodian lover claimed her body and shed no tears, burning her in a pauper’s pyre started with his own magic outside the city walls. He has remained mute since the time of her death – weak fool. I have finished my report on the matter and sent it to the Shadow Court for review. This matter is at a close.
“You are ready to speak what we want to hear yes?” he asked. I slumped back into my corner.
“No. May I please have some food, or water?” I asked. He made a disgruntled noised and clapped the small portal closed. I rested my head on my knees and tried to forget my hunger and thirst. It would not kill me. The immortal don’t die from things like that.
Time dragged on, I think it was every week or so that they came always with the same question, always with the same denial on my part and always with the same result… Left to rot in the dark, alone, exhausted and growing weaker by the hour, by the day, by the week, by the month? I thought of Elethor and I prayed and eventually I grew to accept what I must do to continue to keep him, and the ones I loved in Elysea safe. I closed my eyes, or at least I think I did, the blackness being the same both ways and I tried to sleep.
“Wake up child.”
I opened my eyes and this time was greeted by a diffuse glow around the cowl of a stranger…
“Father?” I asked weakly.
“No, no… but he sent me.” The kind voice was soothing and almost musical in quality and his hand was soft where it held mine.
“Who are you?” I inquired.
“I am His Avatar child, I am Aion given physical form for however long He requires it. You may call me Tamat.” He took my hands and lifted me to my feet and I stood, suddenly not tired, not thirsty and more so not cold or hurting.
“Thank you.” I breathed, and he nodded his head smiling. “Why have you come?” I asked.
“Isn’t it obvious?” he asked, and I shook my head. “I’ve come to take you home.” I worried my lip between my teeth and considered him.
“To Elysea?” I asked, and my heart began to sink when his expression, what I could see of it grew solemn.
“No child, not to Elysea.”
“To my Elethor then?” I was strangely calm when the being shook his head once more. I tipped my head back and back and relaxed my shoulders, the tears slipping free.
“Is He angry with me?” I asked.
“No, no child, not angry He could never be angry with you. He placed too much on your shoulders He sees that now. He forgives you for being unable to do what it was He asked. If anything He is disappointed in Himself for what has transpired.”
“Will Elethor be all right?” I asked the first subtle sob shaking my shoulders.
“He will not, for a while… but time heals all wounds and I am sure he will love again.”
I looked down at my body, so dirty and rail thin crouched in the corner. Eyes glazed and staring at nothing, growing cloudy all ready and I hugged myself. Tamat put his arms around me and murmured, into my hair.
“It is time to go child. He wishes to see you. Please do not fret, your time to hurt is at an end and I promise you some day you will see your man again. Though it will be long for him it will be but a blink of the eye for you. Come now; let us leave this place behind.”
“Can I see him one last time?” I asked and Tamat simply shook his head. I sobbed and leaned heavily against Tamat and felt plate armor beneath his simple homespun robe and cowl. I could see now, the filthy stone walls covered with damp and ichor and I looked back at my body once more.
“I am ready,” I said finally. “Tamat, take me home.”
Jailor’s log – 06-03-110
The Elyos female captured at Asteria has expired, proving their inferiority and frailty compared to the greater Asmodian people. She gave us nothing. Her Asmodian lover claimed her body and shed no tears, burning her in a pauper’s pyre started with his own magic outside the city walls. He has remained mute since the time of her death – weak fool. I have finished my report on the matter and sent it to the Shadow Court for review. This matter is at a close.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Fifty One
I tipped my face up into the sunlight and listened to the distant shouts of the incoming supply lines and the nearer clash of training weapons. At the time I hadn’t known that it would be the last time I would feel the warmth and light on my skin… The camp that had sprung up on the Asteria plains was a comfortable one, and with the day of a spring like quality it was hard not to relax and enjoy it even if it was a siege. I let my attention drift over the tops of the tents neatly nestled together in their perfectly regimented rows to the looming structure that was Asteria fortress and the Asmodian garrison that patrolled the ramparts. I had seen the legion crests of their forces flying high above the gray stone walls and easily spotted the one our intel had described as Daemon Proxy’s. Elethor was in there I could feel it deeply, and the tug on my soul that was bound to him had confirmed his nearness; it had eased my worry marginally.
The sun was setting and soon the mess tents would fill and after that, the firesides. We had held them at our mercy for a while now… cutting off their supplies and knocking on their gates. Finally there were whispers through the camp that a representative would be sent out and demands would be exchanged, so we waited. I found Ailsie by the fire well within view of the great fortress and we sat together as some of the more talented daeva’s set down their arms and took up their instruments. The sun dipped low behind the rocky crag that served as Asteria’s backdrop and darkness descended as the first mournful call of the violin went up into the air. We listened and some danced and the entertainment went on for a bit when a stir moved through the crowd as Andrei and several of his most trusted Centurions moved through the crowd to the edge of the camp where the Asteria Plains met with the sheer cliff surrounding the fortress.
I saw the shadows descend from the air, I saw the gleam of red, diminished by distance and the firelight and as Andrei and our men approached my heart seized in my chest when I saw it was him and two others from his Legion that walked with my Brigade General. I rose as did several others at their approach and the music stilled. Elethor’s expression gave nothing away as his gaze slid over me and I gripped Ailsie’s wrist tightly in an effort to keep myself carefully schooled away.
“Don’t stop on our account!” Andrei said as they strode passed and my gaze locked briefly with my beloveds. His eyes, still faintly glowing raked me over from head to foot and a muscle in his jaw twitched with barely perceived relief when he saw I was whole. I fought to keep my expression neutral and inclined my head and looked away but Ailsie… Ailsie had seen it.
“That’s him isn’t it?” she asked me… and I let her wrist go. My attention on his retreating back as the crowds closed behind him and they made their way to the central command tent towards the Elyos guard tower established at Asteria some time ago.
“Yes,” I murmured for my friend’s ear alone… “Yes that’s Elethor.” What is he doing here!? My agonized mind screamed… but it was a mystery that I would have to live with for the time being as the music started up again and I sat back down, resolutely fending off an inquiry to dance.
The night wore on and my distraction grew as I spent the entirety of my time forcing myself to remain still and not seek out the command tent to listen or to find how things fared. Eventually, when the time permitted I left the fireside and found my tent and the cot within. Out here on the siege field I slept uncomfortably in my boots, greaves and hauberk with my mace and shield close at hand. It was how Ailsie found me in the middle of the night, the camp quiet and still. I woke with her hand over my mouth, her lips hissing me to silence beside my ear.
“They have him Sirona, I never thought I would see the day the Elyos would betray a peace talk but they’ve done it and if you want to save him you have to go now.” She muttered in a rush. I took up my shield and mace and stood, shaking in the dark but not with cold. Dread uncoiled in the pit of my stomach and I slipped down the lines of canvas behind the lithe shadow my friend cast as she led me to the Guard Tower.
Ailsie went ahead of me and spoke to the guards stationed outside; drawing them away from the door and turning them round just enough for me to use the techniques Toxemia had taught me to slip passed them. I went in, and followed the winding stair down, down, down to the cell block beneath where I heard them, several men… and the beating of my Elethor.
“Stop!” I barked at them, Andrei turned his arms crossed and an ugly look upon his face, Leogetz looked up from the prone figure of my beloved on the stone floor and drew back as if to kick him again. I spoke a word of command and unleashed the prayer and watched as it knocked Leo clear of him. There were more of my people than there was of me and I knew it to be a lost cause from the beginning but I resigned my fate, even as Xanathar advanced on me bringing his great sword to bear I brought up my shield and took a defensive stance, moving myself to stand above my beloved even as I heard Leo exclaim,
“You traitor bitch!”
“Me a traitor!? What is it you do here?” I demanded parrying a blow with my mace trying to guard myself and Elethor at the same moment. “You break treaty and for what!? One less crow on the battlefield when the time comes?” I miscalculated and took a severe stroke to the ribs, collapsing to my knees.
“Send her back to her bind point; we’ll deal with her later.” Andrei’s voice was colder than an Asmodian winter as Leo brought down the point of his blade, through my back and I let go… flowing through the aether to the bind point closest to me… to Elethor who lay in the open cell door way struggling to breathe.
I gathered to myself and spoke a prayer of healing feeling my reserves fill, using their shock to my advantage to better my stance for the next onslaught. Their eyes wide with shock I told them in a dramatic whisper,
“I will not leave him.” They came at me again, and again I fell only to bring myself up at his side once more. A third time I fell, and a fourth but I would not bend I would not sway and I would not leave his side… finally Andrei bellowed,
“Enough! She wants to side with the crows so badly then let her, lock them both in.” he left then, storming up the stairs and I admit no little satisfaction at his discomfiture. I had been unarmed and stood in the cell, breathless but with no little fight left in me as they caged us. When they were gone I fell to my knees and lifted Elethor’s prone figure into my arms.
“You should not…” he coughed blood and made a sound of pain deep in his chest before squeezing out the rest. “You should not have done that.”
“Shhhh, be still my love. I will get us out, I will get you back to your people I’m just not sure how just yet.”
He clung to me, head in my lap as he fought to stay conscious, Aion knows how long they had him before Ailsie had come to fetch me… I prayed and prayed and finally my prayers were answered as the cell door unlocked and Tox seemed to appear from the aether it’s self.
“This is got to be the dumbest thing I have ever helped you do.” He said finally, helping me to help Elethor to his feet. My beloved swayed between us and my fear grew.
“I need to get him back to his people.” I said as we made for the stairs, Ailsie joined us outside.
“Move quietly.” She said, “Sleeping storm only lasts so long and only on so many people, it took better hold on those all ready asleep.” We rushed to the edge of the chasm around Asteria Fortress, Tox and Ailsie remaining at the tent line, I shouted when we were close enough and signaled the Asmodian guard, who came down to help me. I went up and into the fort following my love as they tended him, Dark coming to keep them off of me until I could see this through. I waited in the hall with the big Gladiator and when he was well enough, was allowed to see my Elethor one last time…
He sat in a sturdy chair, his ribs bandaged carefully from armpit to hip. I straddled his lap carefully and lowered myself to sit on the arms of the chair. I kissed him carefully as his hands rode on my hips gently. I rested my forehead against his and sniffed, the tears slipping free and gliding down my cheeks.
“I’m so sorry.” I said finally. “I had no idea what they were…” I sobbed and jumped slightly at a crash down the hall, the sound of plate and chain rattling.
“Shhhh no no no. This isn’t your fault.” He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me gently as he said it.
“They’re coming for me now.” I said, “I need you to let me go. I need you to heal and be safe.” He shook his head violently at my words and I stilled him taking the decorative combs from my hair and pressing them into his hands, I wanted him to have something of me and it was all I had to give. “I love you.” I said withdrawing from him.
“Sirona no!” he tried to get up and collapsed back weakly into his chair.
“It’s okay. I promise its okay. I love you Elethor, always you, forever you and only you.” He slammed his fist into the wooden arm and for the first and only time I saw my lover cry, crystalline tears slipping down the dusky blue of his cheek from his crystalline eyes.
“I love you Sirona, always you, forever you and only you…” I straightened and slipped out of the chamber into the hall passed Dark and Dracia. I looked at the Glad and Assassin, both gripping their weapons ready to fight and shook my head, stepping passed them into the hall and towards the advancing guards.
I called out to Dark, “Tell them I won’t resist, I’m coming willingly.” And he did for me, the guards slowing… “Dark, take care of Elethor, promise me you both will take care of him.”
He swore to me and the assassin followed suit and I stepped forward wrists together arms held before me so the guards could bind me, which they did swiftly and mercilessly, throwing a black hood over my face and hustling me violently forward.
We took no less than three teleports, and finally I felt we were marching through a city… Eventually we went into a building and down, so far down and I could hear the rattle of chains and the clang of cell doors and it was so very dark. I remained calm, burning the image of my beloveds face into my thoughts even as I felt him so dim and far away from me. Eventually the hood was ripped from my face and I was left blinking into torch light.
“You understand me yes?” the jailer asked. I nodded carefully. “You will tell us everything we ask yes?” he asked and I shook my head no. He slammed his ledger onto a table and I was dragged to a cell with no window and no bars. I was thrown in and the heavy iron door was closed behind me. All the rest was total darkness. I found myself a corner and slouched against the wall, working at the bindings on my wrists with my teeth…
The sun was setting and soon the mess tents would fill and after that, the firesides. We had held them at our mercy for a while now… cutting off their supplies and knocking on their gates. Finally there were whispers through the camp that a representative would be sent out and demands would be exchanged, so we waited. I found Ailsie by the fire well within view of the great fortress and we sat together as some of the more talented daeva’s set down their arms and took up their instruments. The sun dipped low behind the rocky crag that served as Asteria’s backdrop and darkness descended as the first mournful call of the violin went up into the air. We listened and some danced and the entertainment went on for a bit when a stir moved through the crowd as Andrei and several of his most trusted Centurions moved through the crowd to the edge of the camp where the Asteria Plains met with the sheer cliff surrounding the fortress.
I saw the shadows descend from the air, I saw the gleam of red, diminished by distance and the firelight and as Andrei and our men approached my heart seized in my chest when I saw it was him and two others from his Legion that walked with my Brigade General. I rose as did several others at their approach and the music stilled. Elethor’s expression gave nothing away as his gaze slid over me and I gripped Ailsie’s wrist tightly in an effort to keep myself carefully schooled away.
“Don’t stop on our account!” Andrei said as they strode passed and my gaze locked briefly with my beloveds. His eyes, still faintly glowing raked me over from head to foot and a muscle in his jaw twitched with barely perceived relief when he saw I was whole. I fought to keep my expression neutral and inclined my head and looked away but Ailsie… Ailsie had seen it.
“That’s him isn’t it?” she asked me… and I let her wrist go. My attention on his retreating back as the crowds closed behind him and they made their way to the central command tent towards the Elyos guard tower established at Asteria some time ago.
“Yes,” I murmured for my friend’s ear alone… “Yes that’s Elethor.” What is he doing here!? My agonized mind screamed… but it was a mystery that I would have to live with for the time being as the music started up again and I sat back down, resolutely fending off an inquiry to dance.
The night wore on and my distraction grew as I spent the entirety of my time forcing myself to remain still and not seek out the command tent to listen or to find how things fared. Eventually, when the time permitted I left the fireside and found my tent and the cot within. Out here on the siege field I slept uncomfortably in my boots, greaves and hauberk with my mace and shield close at hand. It was how Ailsie found me in the middle of the night, the camp quiet and still. I woke with her hand over my mouth, her lips hissing me to silence beside my ear.
“They have him Sirona, I never thought I would see the day the Elyos would betray a peace talk but they’ve done it and if you want to save him you have to go now.” She muttered in a rush. I took up my shield and mace and stood, shaking in the dark but not with cold. Dread uncoiled in the pit of my stomach and I slipped down the lines of canvas behind the lithe shadow my friend cast as she led me to the Guard Tower.
Ailsie went ahead of me and spoke to the guards stationed outside; drawing them away from the door and turning them round just enough for me to use the techniques Toxemia had taught me to slip passed them. I went in, and followed the winding stair down, down, down to the cell block beneath where I heard them, several men… and the beating of my Elethor.
“Stop!” I barked at them, Andrei turned his arms crossed and an ugly look upon his face, Leogetz looked up from the prone figure of my beloved on the stone floor and drew back as if to kick him again. I spoke a word of command and unleashed the prayer and watched as it knocked Leo clear of him. There were more of my people than there was of me and I knew it to be a lost cause from the beginning but I resigned my fate, even as Xanathar advanced on me bringing his great sword to bear I brought up my shield and took a defensive stance, moving myself to stand above my beloved even as I heard Leo exclaim,
“You traitor bitch!”
“Me a traitor!? What is it you do here?” I demanded parrying a blow with my mace trying to guard myself and Elethor at the same moment. “You break treaty and for what!? One less crow on the battlefield when the time comes?” I miscalculated and took a severe stroke to the ribs, collapsing to my knees.
“Send her back to her bind point; we’ll deal with her later.” Andrei’s voice was colder than an Asmodian winter as Leo brought down the point of his blade, through my back and I let go… flowing through the aether to the bind point closest to me… to Elethor who lay in the open cell door way struggling to breathe.
I gathered to myself and spoke a prayer of healing feeling my reserves fill, using their shock to my advantage to better my stance for the next onslaught. Their eyes wide with shock I told them in a dramatic whisper,
“I will not leave him.” They came at me again, and again I fell only to bring myself up at his side once more. A third time I fell, and a fourth but I would not bend I would not sway and I would not leave his side… finally Andrei bellowed,
“Enough! She wants to side with the crows so badly then let her, lock them both in.” he left then, storming up the stairs and I admit no little satisfaction at his discomfiture. I had been unarmed and stood in the cell, breathless but with no little fight left in me as they caged us. When they were gone I fell to my knees and lifted Elethor’s prone figure into my arms.
“You should not…” he coughed blood and made a sound of pain deep in his chest before squeezing out the rest. “You should not have done that.”
“Shhhh, be still my love. I will get us out, I will get you back to your people I’m just not sure how just yet.”
He clung to me, head in my lap as he fought to stay conscious, Aion knows how long they had him before Ailsie had come to fetch me… I prayed and prayed and finally my prayers were answered as the cell door unlocked and Tox seemed to appear from the aether it’s self.
“This is got to be the dumbest thing I have ever helped you do.” He said finally, helping me to help Elethor to his feet. My beloved swayed between us and my fear grew.
“I need to get him back to his people.” I said as we made for the stairs, Ailsie joined us outside.
“Move quietly.” She said, “Sleeping storm only lasts so long and only on so many people, it took better hold on those all ready asleep.” We rushed to the edge of the chasm around Asteria Fortress, Tox and Ailsie remaining at the tent line, I shouted when we were close enough and signaled the Asmodian guard, who came down to help me. I went up and into the fort following my love as they tended him, Dark coming to keep them off of me until I could see this through. I waited in the hall with the big Gladiator and when he was well enough, was allowed to see my Elethor one last time…
He sat in a sturdy chair, his ribs bandaged carefully from armpit to hip. I straddled his lap carefully and lowered myself to sit on the arms of the chair. I kissed him carefully as his hands rode on my hips gently. I rested my forehead against his and sniffed, the tears slipping free and gliding down my cheeks.
“I’m so sorry.” I said finally. “I had no idea what they were…” I sobbed and jumped slightly at a crash down the hall, the sound of plate and chain rattling.
“Shhhh no no no. This isn’t your fault.” He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me gently as he said it.
“They’re coming for me now.” I said, “I need you to let me go. I need you to heal and be safe.” He shook his head violently at my words and I stilled him taking the decorative combs from my hair and pressing them into his hands, I wanted him to have something of me and it was all I had to give. “I love you.” I said withdrawing from him.
“Sirona no!” he tried to get up and collapsed back weakly into his chair.
“It’s okay. I promise its okay. I love you Elethor, always you, forever you and only you.” He slammed his fist into the wooden arm and for the first and only time I saw my lover cry, crystalline tears slipping down the dusky blue of his cheek from his crystalline eyes.
“I love you Sirona, always you, forever you and only you…” I straightened and slipped out of the chamber into the hall passed Dark and Dracia. I looked at the Glad and Assassin, both gripping their weapons ready to fight and shook my head, stepping passed them into the hall and towards the advancing guards.
I called out to Dark, “Tell them I won’t resist, I’m coming willingly.” And he did for me, the guards slowing… “Dark, take care of Elethor, promise me you both will take care of him.”
He swore to me and the assassin followed suit and I stepped forward wrists together arms held before me so the guards could bind me, which they did swiftly and mercilessly, throwing a black hood over my face and hustling me violently forward.
We took no less than three teleports, and finally I felt we were marching through a city… Eventually we went into a building and down, so far down and I could hear the rattle of chains and the clang of cell doors and it was so very dark. I remained calm, burning the image of my beloveds face into my thoughts even as I felt him so dim and far away from me. Eventually the hood was ripped from my face and I was left blinking into torch light.
“You understand me yes?” the jailer asked. I nodded carefully. “You will tell us everything we ask yes?” he asked and I shook my head no. He slammed his ledger onto a table and I was dragged to a cell with no window and no bars. I was thrown in and the heavy iron door was closed behind me. All the rest was total darkness. I found myself a corner and slouched against the wall, working at the bindings on my wrists with my teeth…
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Fifty
The blue sand and stone was warm beneath my bare feet, the dress Elethor had given me so long ago fluttered around my calves as the hot winds of the abyss scoured the battlefield surrounding one of the Siel Fortresses. Feathers ruffled in the strong breeze, black and white alike, broken armor and weapons studded the ground and there were so many daeva’s locked in death… final death… true death, their eyes staring sightless and frightened into the aether, their mouths locked into eternal screams. I put my hands over my mouth and doubled over, the tears streaming down my cheeks. Aion laid His hand upon my back, the barest hint of His mouth set in a grim line beneath His cowl.
“Walk with me child that you may better understand what it is I have asked of you.” He murmured. I straightened and walked beside Him and listened as He spoke. “I have asked you to love them both and you have admirably, but I believe you have misunderstood exactly what it is I have asked of you and so I must show you. I am very sorry it has come to this my child but I need you to look into your heart and see… really see what it is I have asked of you.”
I looked down into the many faces of the Fallen, Elyos and Asmodian alike and felt a horror that chilled me to my very core. It was a cold that would not be fixed by sitting fireside or by wrapping me in a blanket and as I walked beside Aion I grew numb from my crown to my toes.
“Father,” I asked. “Why do you show me this?”
“Because you need to see my child, I need you to understand and words will simply not express…”
He raised His arm and swept it outwards to engulf the entire grisly scene, where nothing stirred and all was still despite the wind… A small movement caught my eye and I watched as a ball, no a sphere of some kind rolled towards me, bouncing and jumping across the stone and dirt a lovely pale green and somehow familiar to me... My eyes widened and I followed its trail back to where it had come from, the scream climbing in my throat and sticking there as I forced it down with denial. I ran forward and dropped to my knees.
He lay so still and so silent, dark wings broken and spread beneath him, the front of his robes stained dark and wet with blood, his crystalline eyes staring empty and lost and as I brought him into my lap the scream spilled along with my tears and the sound of my anguish rent the air. My Elethor, my love was so still in his final death in my arms and I screamed and I cried and I looked at my Father and I demanded of him…
“Why!? Why? Why? Why?!! I have done everything you have asked of me! Why Father why!?” I bent double over my lover’s body and pulled as much of him to me as I could, his skin as waxy and cold beneath my palms, his lips so still beneath my lips as I kissed him. I pressed my forehead to his and wept while my Father, my Aion stood by passively and watched.
“I ask you to look at those around your lover and think child! Think! Look with more than just your eyes! LOOK!” and His last command cracked the air with thunder and I did as He bade me and I wished I hadn’t. The faces around my dead love were people I knew too, Toxemia, Ailsie, their white wings stained crimson and over there was Dark, his beloved Dracia pinned to his chest, through her back by a great sword… fallen after her beloved, killed while she wept over his still form as I wept over my Elethor now. I looked up at my Father so imposing now than He had ever been before and though my grief was a crippling thing I thought furiously on what it was all supposed to mean and when I felt the dawning cross my face the awful scene began to fade, Elethor in my arms began to fade and I screamed long and mournful and tried to gather him to me and I continued to scream as I woke in my tent so very far away from the grisly scene in Theobomos I woke screaming loud and long and clear the camp coming to life around me.
“Sirona!?” I heard a man shout. “Sirona! It’s Sirona! What’s wrong!?”
My tent unsealed its self and Jexius shouldered his way in first followed closely by Leogetz, his twin blades drawn. I waved them off tiredly, and pushed myself up on my cot.
“A dream,” I told them. “It was just a dream.” I swallowed hard as Leo sheathed his blades and Jex dropped his shoulders tipping his head all the way back and sighing loudly.
“You all right?” Leo asked, brows furrowed. I nodded, and put my feet solidly on the ground sitting on the edge of my cot gulping air furiously into my lungs, my hands shaking furiously I gripped the cot’s edge to hide it.
“I’m fine now, just a dream, a very bad dream.” I told them and heard from outside the tent Chiiro say…
“Did she just say she had a bad dream? Is that what all of this is about?” there were noises of assent and discontent being made all around.
“I’m sorry.” I bowed my head. “They don’t happen often; I thought I was over them…” I remembered the nightmares I had after returning from my torture, they had faded and I was hoping that this would be an accepted answer and that I would not have to explain myself further.
Jexius looked at my feet and Leogetz followed his gaze. I let them look for a moment and tucked them back out of sight beneath the cot, pursing my lips and trying to appear suddenly self conscious of the scars. I was self conscious, of course… but not over the scars. Leogetz backed out of the tent and Jexius followed, grumbling loud enough for the rest of the party to hear…
“I don’t know how I feel going into this mission with a half cracked Cleric at my back supposed t’ be healin’ me.” I closed my eyes and swallowed hard; Chiiro had moved into the tent and looked down on me, literally and almost figuratively. In a loud clear voice she stated,
“No one here questions Sirona’s healing abilities, and if they do they need to take it up the chain of command not with muttered comments. Now all of you, go back to sleep we have only a few more hour until we move out.” She considered my appraisingly for a moment or two more… the sandstorm had ended and it was silent except for the grumbling men and women outside and the snap of canvas as tent flaps closed.
“You are all right yes?” she asked me.
“Yes. I’m fine; I’m not sure what… Maybe I should forgo rations late at night before lights out.” I said feebly. She smiled sharply at me and left my tent. I lay back down and contemplated what I had been shown and prayed that it was just a dream and not indeed a vision.
Love them both.
I had loved both men… but now I understood. How short sighted I have been. I thought to myself… I closed my eyes and tried to sleep and prayed that Elethor was safe.
Love them both.
Not both men.
Love them both…
I closed my eyes and let the tension ease from my shoulders and wondered, how was I supposed to love not only the man but the race that had become an enemy to my people almost as much as the Balaur had?
Love them both.
I thought about Elethor, and Dark, and Dracia and the others of his people I had seen and met in his Legion’s house… and they all were indeed just people.
Love them both.
I thought about Aalairius, Toxemia and Ailsie and the people outside this very tent and thought to myself… What if the roles were reversed, would they be so very different? I sighed and rolled my shoulders.
Love them both.
I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep and I realized that for better or worse, I could, would and did love them. We were all Atreian’s after all. Weren’t we?
Oh Aion, I hope that I can do what you wish of me…
“Walk with me child that you may better understand what it is I have asked of you.” He murmured. I straightened and walked beside Him and listened as He spoke. “I have asked you to love them both and you have admirably, but I believe you have misunderstood exactly what it is I have asked of you and so I must show you. I am very sorry it has come to this my child but I need you to look into your heart and see… really see what it is I have asked of you.”
I looked down into the many faces of the Fallen, Elyos and Asmodian alike and felt a horror that chilled me to my very core. It was a cold that would not be fixed by sitting fireside or by wrapping me in a blanket and as I walked beside Aion I grew numb from my crown to my toes.
“Father,” I asked. “Why do you show me this?”
“Because you need to see my child, I need you to understand and words will simply not express…”
He raised His arm and swept it outwards to engulf the entire grisly scene, where nothing stirred and all was still despite the wind… A small movement caught my eye and I watched as a ball, no a sphere of some kind rolled towards me, bouncing and jumping across the stone and dirt a lovely pale green and somehow familiar to me... My eyes widened and I followed its trail back to where it had come from, the scream climbing in my throat and sticking there as I forced it down with denial. I ran forward and dropped to my knees.
He lay so still and so silent, dark wings broken and spread beneath him, the front of his robes stained dark and wet with blood, his crystalline eyes staring empty and lost and as I brought him into my lap the scream spilled along with my tears and the sound of my anguish rent the air. My Elethor, my love was so still in his final death in my arms and I screamed and I cried and I looked at my Father and I demanded of him…
“Why!? Why? Why? Why?!! I have done everything you have asked of me! Why Father why!?” I bent double over my lover’s body and pulled as much of him to me as I could, his skin as waxy and cold beneath my palms, his lips so still beneath my lips as I kissed him. I pressed my forehead to his and wept while my Father, my Aion stood by passively and watched.
“I ask you to look at those around your lover and think child! Think! Look with more than just your eyes! LOOK!” and His last command cracked the air with thunder and I did as He bade me and I wished I hadn’t. The faces around my dead love were people I knew too, Toxemia, Ailsie, their white wings stained crimson and over there was Dark, his beloved Dracia pinned to his chest, through her back by a great sword… fallen after her beloved, killed while she wept over his still form as I wept over my Elethor now. I looked up at my Father so imposing now than He had ever been before and though my grief was a crippling thing I thought furiously on what it was all supposed to mean and when I felt the dawning cross my face the awful scene began to fade, Elethor in my arms began to fade and I screamed long and mournful and tried to gather him to me and I continued to scream as I woke in my tent so very far away from the grisly scene in Theobomos I woke screaming loud and long and clear the camp coming to life around me.
“Sirona!?” I heard a man shout. “Sirona! It’s Sirona! What’s wrong!?”
My tent unsealed its self and Jexius shouldered his way in first followed closely by Leogetz, his twin blades drawn. I waved them off tiredly, and pushed myself up on my cot.
“A dream,” I told them. “It was just a dream.” I swallowed hard as Leo sheathed his blades and Jex dropped his shoulders tipping his head all the way back and sighing loudly.
“You all right?” Leo asked, brows furrowed. I nodded, and put my feet solidly on the ground sitting on the edge of my cot gulping air furiously into my lungs, my hands shaking furiously I gripped the cot’s edge to hide it.
“I’m fine now, just a dream, a very bad dream.” I told them and heard from outside the tent Chiiro say…
“Did she just say she had a bad dream? Is that what all of this is about?” there were noises of assent and discontent being made all around.
“I’m sorry.” I bowed my head. “They don’t happen often; I thought I was over them…” I remembered the nightmares I had after returning from my torture, they had faded and I was hoping that this would be an accepted answer and that I would not have to explain myself further.
Jexius looked at my feet and Leogetz followed his gaze. I let them look for a moment and tucked them back out of sight beneath the cot, pursing my lips and trying to appear suddenly self conscious of the scars. I was self conscious, of course… but not over the scars. Leogetz backed out of the tent and Jexius followed, grumbling loud enough for the rest of the party to hear…
“No one here questions Sirona’s healing abilities, and if they do they need to take it up the chain of command not with muttered comments. Now all of you, go back to sleep we have only a few more hour until we move out.” She considered my appraisingly for a moment or two more… the sandstorm had ended and it was silent except for the grumbling men and women outside and the snap of canvas as tent flaps closed.
“You are all right yes?” she asked me.
“Yes. I’m fine; I’m not sure what… Maybe I should forgo rations late at night before lights out.” I said feebly. She smiled sharply at me and left my tent. I lay back down and contemplated what I had been shown and prayed that it was just a dream and not indeed a vision.
Love them both.
I had loved both men… but now I understood. How short sighted I have been. I thought to myself… I closed my eyes and tried to sleep and prayed that Elethor was safe.
Love them both.
Not both men.
Love them both…
I closed my eyes and let the tension ease from my shoulders and wondered, how was I supposed to love not only the man but the race that had become an enemy to my people almost as much as the Balaur had?
Love them both.
I thought about Elethor, and Dark, and Dracia and the others of his people I had seen and met in his Legion’s house… and they all were indeed just people.
Love them both.
I thought about Aalairius, Toxemia and Ailsie and the people outside this very tent and thought to myself… What if the roles were reversed, would they be so very different? I sighed and rolled my shoulders.
Love them both.
I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep and I realized that for better or worse, I could, would and did love them. We were all Atreian’s after all. Weren’t we?
Oh Aion, I hope that I can do what you wish of me…
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Forty Nine
My Keairrah,
As you have no doubt noticed I was unable to meet with you, things have gotten complicated. Shortly after our goodbye I was summoned by the Shadow Judges, they are less than pleased. We knew that something like this would happen, that attack on me was proof enough, but I never imagined this.
My legion is gone. I was dragged into the Shadow Court and questioned about us, about everything. I denied nothing; a man should not have to hide his love, not ever. I was imprisoned and then questioned more. They wanted names, places, anything they could use against you. I gave them nothing, they would have tortured me were it not for my status and the mental training I had received.
As a result of my "treason" I was stripped of rank and title, my legion was disbanded, and my home taken from me. But I am not without friends; Dark has given me refuge in an old residence of his. Dark, such a friend I am blessed to have. It is he who has delivered this message to you, as my actions are being closely watched.
On a lighter note I have been accepted into a new legion, Daemon Proxy is my home for now. They are nice but wary of me, news is spreading of my actions and for the moment I must watch my back. I do not think that my life is in danger, but there are those who are zealous and would relish the chance to curry favor with the Shadow Court.
I will try and see you at the next set date, for now be careful and remember that I love you. Keep a cautious eye to the shadows as well; they have many spies at their disposal.
With all my love,
Elethor
Dark had waited patiently for me to pen a missive in reply, the one I had written prior discarded in the bottom of my cube. I had given it to him along with my love to take to Elethor before taking wing back to Teminon.
Dear Elethor,
It saddens me that I cannot see you, I have good news after a fashion though... I have been accepted into the rank of Legionary with Ascendance one of Elysea's top legions. I will be leaving next month for some missions against the Lepharist revolutionaries in a part of my world known as Theobomos. It is a part of our world as yet untouched by the rifts between our lands so I believe it to be safe from problems from Asmodae. This also means I may miss our rendezvous again but I promise you there will be another letter if it is so.
To my point of now, I need to know you are safe my love, did they do you any harm? I am so very sorry to hear of your Legion, who has betrayed you? I have so many questions and Dark will not answer, I believe he is doing what he can to preserve my sanity though I admit I am terrified for you. Please tell me you are all right. I cannot bear this separation any longer and so I pray for the strength to endure, someday I hope we can end this rift between our worlds and come to a peaceable solution. Someday I pray that I can be with you and that we would not have to hurt anymore... I think of you every waking moment, I cannot help it. This news has distressed me so I hardly know what to write.
I don't want to keep Dark waiting, it is dangerous for him, so I leave you with this: I love you, please, please, please be safe...
Forever in my thoughts and dreams,
Sirona
A month later I returned, a day ago now, quickly to leave a letter of my own detailing my new position in a new legion and to tell Elethor I was leaving on a mission later that day. I was saddened to find, not my beloved but another letter beneath our rock. I hadn’t had the chance to read it until now…
It was penned in Olde Daevic and so I had no fear of my legion mates being able to read it, as compared to me I knew them all to be relatively young, having ascended after The Fall, and the oldest among them only five hundred years or so ago. Well after the language had begun its change into what it is now.
My Sirona,
It gives me a measure of peace to know that you are out of harm's way. Were you to be in any land reachable by rifts, or in the Abyss the danger to you would be great. The Shadow Court's minions are merciless and relentless. As for myself I am unharmed, they had been debating using truth serums and mind probing at my "trial" however enough spoke on my behalf that it was decided…
*Snatch!*
“What ‘cha reading girly girl?” a Gladiator from my Legion asked, grabbing the page from my fingers… He furrowed his brow at Elethor’s elegant script holding the parchment just out of my grasp as I desperately tried to grab it back.
“Jexius! It’s personal… give it back!” I shouted.
“What’s this happy Brax shit?” he asked when he realized he couldn’t read it. I got to my feet and grabbed the paper out of his hand and shoved it into my hauberk messily.
“None of your Aion damned business. That’s what!” I snapped.
“Whoa! No need to get all bitchy about it. Damn girl you need to…”
“Jexius, leave Sirona alone.” Chiiro didn’t even look up from her spell book as she said it, but her voice held strength and command. “Besides, everyone knows you can’t read.” She added snidely. I sat back down.
“You can’t read it either.” I said quietly and she looked at me and held out her hand. I pulled out the letter and handed it to her.
“What is this? Some kind of code or cipher?” she asked.
“No, it’s just old.” I took the letter back from her and smoothed it over my knee.
“Old?” our Templar for this mission asked.
“Before the tower fell it’s the language we all read, wrote and spoke.” I told him. All eyes were suddenly fixed on me.
“Sirona,” Leogetz the assassin said my name and when I looked at him he asked the question burning in all their eyes. “How old are you?” For a daeva it was a very personal question. None of us liked to admit our age, because to say it out loud usually brought in rush all those long years, with lovers, wives and husbands… with children, lost to the ravages of time. I had never had any children of my own. I could not bear to watch them grow old and die… I chewed my lower lip and contemplated a moment before answering.
“I was a new daeva, and in my twenties when the tower fell.” I answered finally. Back then there was an academy for new daeva’s to learn their powers and things were much more organized. I was in my final year of the academy and a good portion of the friends I had there didn’t make it through the collapse.”
Finally Jexius began to laugh, full throated and deep.
“Brax shit. You aren’t over a thousand years old!” He paused for a long breath and as all of our Legion mates sat in silence he finally asked, “Are you?”
I got up and dusted myself off. Chiiro had warned that her magic had foreseen a sandstorm coming and it was almost time by her reckoning for us to seal ourselves in our tents.
“I’m that old and then some Jex.” And with that I went to my tent, lighting the lantern that hung from the ridgepole. I took off my boots and sat on my cot. When the time came Chiiro would come around from tent to tent and seal each with a spell making the canvas seamless so that the sand wouldn’t come in during the night.
Leo called after me, “Who do you know that is that old too Sirona? That you can write to or that writes to you in that old language?” their curiosity was insatiable tonight. I called back more tersely than I had meant it to be…
“None of your business! Goodnight.”
Finally when their quiet conversation resumed I took out the letter, reading by the dim lantern light.
My Sirona,
It gives me a measure of peace to know that you are out of harm's way. Were you to be in any land reachable by rifts, or in the Abyss the danger to you would be great. The Shadow Court's minions are merciless and relentless. As for myself I am unharmed, they had been debating using truth serums and mind probing at my "trial" however enough spoke on my behalf that it was decided not to subject me to them.
I too, long for the day when we can be together without fearing for the other's safety. It saddens me to think that so many would have such hatred for the love we share. I hope to see you again soon and hold you close. Be careful, keairrah and know that I miss you dearly. I love you.
Forever yours,
Elethor
“Hey Sirona,” I heard from outside my tent, the flap peeling back.
“What is it Jex?” I asked.
“Sorry if, well… yeah just sorry.” I nodded at him and he let the canvas go, Chiiro peeled it back and looked in at me.
“You ready?” she asked, and I nodded, she let go the fabric and uttered simple words of command and I was sealed in, the tent a seamless triangle of safety, the rasping scale of the sand against its protective shell already beginning. Before long the wind would howl and the scouring of the sand would be deafening but for now I could try to sleep. I blew out the lantern and peeled out of mu hauberk and greaves. I lay down beneath my regulation issue fess blanket in my breeches and shirt and closed my eyes the sound of the sand against my tent a regular drone and soon I was asleep…
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